As a young Black girl born in the 80s, moving to New York was the dream. I mean, every movie I watched, every hip hop song, every fashion icon I looked up to had NYC written all over them. The buildings, the yellow taxis, the swag, the hustle, the energy—baby, I needed to be there. After many attempts to come to NY, I finally made it happen at 29, you couldn’t tell me nothing! It felt like the stars had finally aligned. I’d been looking for a job for two years after grad school, my savings was looking real disrespectful, and I was sitting in Chicago comfortable but if I was honest with myself unfulfilled. I prayed and prayed for something to come through in Chicago, but deep down, something kept calling me to give New York a shot. I had no idea that this decision would change my life in ways I couldn’t even imagine.
I had a whole life in Chicago—owned my own condo, I just bought a new car, and my mom was sick, so staying there made sense. But in reality, it just felt like a struggle just to keep a head. Even the guy I was seeing at the time wasn’t giving what it was supposed to give. So, I said, “Let’s shake this shiit up.” I booked a two-week trip to New York and decided I was gonna shoot my shot with as many job interviews as possible. I closed my eyes, applied to every advertising job posting I could find, and just prayed something would work out.
By the grace of God, as I was getting closer to the trip, emails start coming in. I landed three interviews. I was shook but I had to look myself in the mirror , “Okay, sis, we’re really doing this!” I hopped on that plane, knowing I had everything I needed back home except a job, but something told me New York would be a beautiful plot twist to this movie.
Soon as I landed the city welcomed me with open arms. I met this guy on day one and yes I did get the digits. He was super nice and was routing for me to make NY home. He basically showed me all around the city while I was there. I was like, “Oh, this is the niiiicceeeee?!” Everything felt like a sign, like New York was saying, “You belong here.” By the end of my trip, I had aced two rounds of interviews, and when I got back to Chicago, I got the offer. I packed up and dipped, and New York became my home.
Now fast forward 12 years later and whew it has been a great ride. I’ve worked in advertising and marketing, built lifelong friendships, and had my fair share of highs and lows. Living in New York was exactly what I needed back then, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But now? After surviving breast cancer, losing my mom, and living through a pandemic, my spirit is craving something different.
Listen, when they say if you can make it New York you can make it anywhere, they were not lying. I’m so thankful that I never was forced to leave, even after layoffs and my diagnosis. New York has changed a lot since I first moved here 12 years ago. New York is a beast—especially after the pandemic. It’s even louder, chaotic, and it’s a lot on my mental health. I mean, even when I try to take a peaceful walk, somebody’s out here on the street yelling at the top of their lungs like they don’t have any home training. Most days, I feel like my nerves are SHOT. And while I will always love this city, I’ve outgrown certain things, like not having a great quality of life. I’m at a point where I need some peace and quiet in my life.
So, after a lot of thought (and probably a few too many days looking at apartments online), I’m thinking about Arizona. Now, I know that seems random as hell, but hear me out. I’ve visited a few times over the years, and there’s something about the desert that just feels… right. It’s slower, it’s peaceful, and that sunshine? Baby, that sunshine is calling my name. I used to think Arizona was a place I’d try in my 50s, but now I’m like, why wait? I’m working remotely, so why not live somewhere that feels like a breath of fresh air?
And yes, I know Arizona is HOT, like “open the door and melt” hot, but that’s what air conditioning is for, okay?! Plus, I’m at a point where I just want more space. No more tiny New York apartments, no more dragging laundry up five flights of stairs—I want in-unit everything. And let’s be real, living in a luxury apartment for what I pay for a shoebox in NYC? Say less, I’m ready.
I’m also curious about what dating in Arizona might be like because New York? It has been a struggle in that department. Maybe the vibe will be different, maybe I’ll meet someone who’s on the same wavelength. Who knows? But I’m down to try it. Honestly, after everything I’ve been through, I need a change. I’m not scared to try something new. I’ve always been adventurous—my first big trip out of state was to Colorado for three months before high school. My mom allowed me to spend the summer with my best friend and her family in Colorado. So I’m just channeling that same energy, even now in my 40s. Life is for living, and I’m done waiting around for the “right time.” Now is the time for me to try something new. Arizona might not be the forever move, but it could be the next move—and I’m here for it.
New York will always be in my heart, but it’s time for something slower, something softer. I need to heal, to grow, to find my peace. And who knows what other adventures are waiting for me? One thing’s for sure— I am never afraid to leap, because you never know what magic is on the other side of the jump.
I’m going to take the next 8 months to figure it out. I’m excited about my trip to Arizona and all the love and support that I have received from family and friends about my decision. I appreciate all feedback, it’s all from a place of love and experience. The number one thing that I hear is that it’s hot and it’s for old people. I can handle that since I’m looking for a slower pace and a bit of peace. I pray that God will lead me in the right direction. Most importantly I am proud of myself for even exploring. Living in NY in a rent-stabilized apartment can keep you in a scarcity mindset, settling for less space and a lower quality of life for the price. That’s one main reason why I haven’t left my apartment yet. I don’t want to live like that though, held hostage by limitations because I know once I step forward everything around me has to shift. God has a way of seeing if you’ll move. Most of the times when you take the first step he has already made the path for you and everything that you need is sitting on the other side of your fear. So cheers to living life more abundantly.
